Infertility Bites

Infertile, Trying to Conceive, and Forty-One Years Old – Ain't THAT a Bummer!?!

Aunt Flo, stay away!! February 28, 2008

Filed under: pregnant hopes and dreams — vamplita @ 10:32 am
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Okay, so we did the IUI on the 21st, and it went off without a hitch.  My duty these days is to think Good Thoughts, not stress, and remain calm while I wait.  Easier to say than do, naturally. 

 Take, for example, the fact that two weeks ago, I received an email from the Assistant Principal who is responsible for evaluating my teaching skills.  She stated in the email to my department that she would be performing 45-minute observations for all of us within a two-week period, and that the observation would be at an unannounced (random) time.  So, as a teacher, you try to make sure that you bring your “A-game” during these days, on the chance that the AP shows.  We drag out all the dog and pony stuff then…all the bells and whistles, so to speak.  Tomorrow’s the last day of the two-week period, and no AP so far.  Fun, eh?

Oh yeah; I had to take the GRE today.  Bleah.  The good news is that I managed to get a decent enough combined score to ensure that my graduate program won’t be kicking me out for that reason.  Now, I may not be able to pay, and get kicked out for that, but never for my GRE scores.  🙂 

 Now, if y’all know me, you know that I was probably very close to full panic mode right before the GRE test.  I’ll admit that I’m a person who experiences serious test anxiety when it comes to entrance exams or certification exams.  After all, it’s only my future and career that are on the line, right?  As I told my mom, “Yeah, having to pass a test with math that I haven’t even looked at for over 20 years scares me, but the thing that really strikes fear into my heart about these things is the fear of the unknown.” 

Same thing about waiting to see if we’re pregnant.  It’s the fear of the unknown that makes me crazy.  Each day, I pray that I don’t see red.  So far, so good in that department.  Of course, next week’s when (God forbid!) I’m supposed to start (dear Lord, please don’t let it happen) if (God forbid) I do (please God no) start, according to the schedule of meds I’ve been taking.

My imagination is wayyyy too fertile, when it comes to psychosomatic pregnancy symptoms, y’all.  It’s ironic that I have a very fertile imagination, but a not-so-fertile reproductive system.  That hardly seems fair, does it??  Anyway, I’ve been feeling crampy and nauseous this week.  It’s difficult to figure out if it’s the Real Deal or if it’s actually just my brain and body playing tricks on me like last time.